Many men are turned on by anal sex, but their partners are not always enthusiastic about it. In this article we will tell you how to talk a girl into anal sex without fighting and without alienating her. We have described in detail all the working methods with which you can reduce her fear, arouse her curiosity about anal caresses and learn how to enjoy them.
Why girls are afraid of anal sex
The aversion to anal sex among women is similar to the aversion of some men to TRUSI of the prostate, which is performed with an oblong probe. Not all men are willing to endure a couple of minutes of examination, let alone a long and intense “massage”, but there are lovers. So do women. Some like anal sex, while others do not accept it.
The main reasons why a girl rejects anal sex:
- Unfortunate experience. It can be severe pain due to sphincter trauma, the subsequent formation of a chronic anal fissure or even the development of incontinence due to incomplete closure of the opening. In any case, the woman does not want to experiment any more, so as not to return the problems experienced. If the partner is strongly against it, do not insist. Even the best sex is not worth several weeks of torment because of aggravated hemorrhoids or open anal fissures.
- Lack of confidence in your partner. The girl may not be sure that you will do everything right. She probably has already read the forums and knows what the consequences of illiterate anal sex are. Most likely, you have given reason to doubt your competence by not being gentle and skillful enough in regular sex.
- Anal is painful. Some people do have pain, and it’s not a whim. There are people whose anal sphincter is constricted or too tender, easily traumatized. Anal sex is physiologically unsuitable for them.
- Anal is bad for their health. Really dangerous if the sphincter is anatomically predisposed to injury. Often the fears are far-fetched, but the psychological tension does not allow the muscles to relax, which causes the sphincter to tear, with its subsequent scarring and narrowing.
- Fear of getting dirty. Even if you are ready to see the contents of your partner’s rectum on the penis, it can be categorically unacceptable for her. Many people are stressed by preparation in the form of enemas.
Some women are sure that anal sex is a perversion. You can try to change her mind, but not verbally, but with unobtrusive, competent caresses.
How to persuade
Let’s start with what not to do:
- Trying to forcibly penetrate the anus suddenly. Injury and quarrels are guaranteed here.
- Express aggression and misunderstanding, throwing around phrases like “everybody likes it, but you don’t”. The girl at this point is not interested at all, in fact – disgusted by your experience with anal sex.
- Threaten to cheat and break up. Girls may suffer pain out of love for you, but sex will not be pleasant for her, she will remain offended by the lack of attention to her feelings.
Induce anal sex only with verbal and physical caressing (learn more about what to say during sex). If the girl hints at proctological problems, limit yourself to superficial stimulation of the sphincter.
Be confident in your actions
This does not mean that it is necessary to insist on going to anal sex, especially for the first time. Not for all women it is natural and, as already mentioned, physiologically feasible. Confidence must be grounded, expressed in competent sensual caresses. Learn the technique of rimming. Instill in the girl that you know how to properly prepare her, and reinforce your confidence with unobtrusive caresses, give her new sensations (read more about comfortable positions for anal sex).
List the pros
Show your knowledge of the question – talk about the secret erogenous points A and K, which are stimulated during anal sex.
Explain that the anal sphincter is rich in nerve endings and their stimulation increases the orgasm. Your girlfriend probably knows this. Many people practice anal caressing while masturbating, but extraneous interference causes fear.
Recall that there is absolutely no risk of getting pregnant with anal sex. Also exclude postcoital cystitis and vaginal dysbacteriosis – not uncommon companions of even protected sex.
Tell them that careful massage of the sphincter ring helps to strengthen its muscles, prevents venous stasis and the appearance of hemorrhoids. This is relevant if anal sex ends with the girl’s orgasm, which helps the muscles to contract.
Personal example
Many girls make it a condition: “First try to put something in yourself, then I’ll think about anal sex. Many men like anal stimulation of the prostate with special devices. It also brings variety to intimate life, and as a bonus it prevents stagnant prostatitis. Orientation will not suffer from such a massage.
Give examples from the forums
We should note right away that the examples from the forums will only work for girls who have not yet had any negative experiences or proctological diseases. There are women who have been practicing anal sex regularly and with pleasure for 20 years – their physiology allows it. Their testimonials will help dispel myths and fears.
Tell me that the consequences can be eliminated
Let the woman know that you are not only interested in your pleasure, but also in her health. Tell her that you know what the consequences of anal sex are and how to fix them – this will add credibility.
Offer to try it without penetrating the penis
Initially convince the girl that this time (and as many times as necessary in the future) you will not try to enter her anus with your cock. She will relax and start to trust you. Offer her small diameter anal sex toys: plugs, vibrators, anal herringbones. Buy anal lubricant that will eliminate pain.
Give the girl an opportunity to feel the receptors of the anal sphincter, help it relax by gently inserting toys. Bring her to orgasm without the involvement of your penis. Stimulate the clitoris and at the same time caress the anus with the toy. The stronger the excitement, the more he will relax.
How to make everything go smoothly
The first rule is strong sexual arousal of your partner. Without it, you don’t even have to try. It is necessary to “turn off” the girl’s head, to put her vigilance to sleep with caresses. Keep in mind that you can only control the external sphincter. There is also an internal sphincter, which relaxes by itself, reflexively, in the absence of danger. And this is the one that has to be “soothed”.
The second rule is to use a lot of anal lubrication without Novocaine. This will help you relax the muscles and minimize the chance of injury.
The third rule is patience and slowness. Move on to caressing the anus after the vagina has been sufficiently moistened. Start with rimming, then lubricate your little finger, stroke the edges of the sphincter with your fingertip, and try to go in shallowly. Wait until the throbbing and squeezing stops, freeze, then continue caressing again. After 3-5 minutes, try inserting the tip of a thin anal stimulator. You can experiment with inflatable plugs. After 15-20 minutes of continuous caressing the sphincter will get used to it and relax.
Do not try, having felt the expansion of the ring, to enter the entire cock, especially for the first time. Start with the head. Freeze with each squeeze of the sphincter, back up. Don’t stop stimulating the clitoris, but rather suggest that the girl try a vaginal-clitoral vibrator, which will relax her entire pelvic musculature.
It’s quite possible that the first, second or even third time you will not have anal sex. The main thing is for the girl to feel your willingness to wait, to feel the charms of the sphincter caresses, to relax and want to continue.
How to behave in the process
What’s important:
- Feedback. Look at the girl, listen to her, feel her, respond sensitively.
- Don’t force patience. Pain means that somewhere the tissues are already torn. This should not be allowed.
- Say compliments, caress the buttocks, do not forget to gently stroke the clitoris, the U zone, if the position allows you to reach.
- Add lubricant.
- If necessary, use tissues prepared in advance.
The choice of position depends on her preference. Many people like doggy style, but there are women who relax lying on their back with their legs bent. To stimulate the vagina through the wall of the rectum, the penis should be directed towards the girl’s stomach. In the doggy style position it is downwards, in the back position it is upwards.
Don’t try to practice anal sex or prepare for it every day. This will not speed up the process, it will only slow it down. Tissues and muscles need to have time to recover. Once or twice a week is enough.
Safety rules
Anal sex requires a special approach:
- Wear a condom. E. coli in the urethra is a direct route to cystitis, prostatitis, urethritis.
- Not only trim your nails short, but file them if you don’t intend to use a condom.
- Don’t change the orifices. There is no need to transfer rectal bacteria to your partner’s vagina. This flora is hostile to the urinary tract and vaginal environment.
- Do not drink alcohol or use an anesthetic. The sensation must be adequate, otherwise the partner risks waking up with severe pain in the anus.
If you do have anal sex without a condom, be sure to flush the urethra with chlorhexidine.
Conclusion
Many women like anal sex, but some are physiologically unable to practice it, so it doesn’t make sense to persuade everyone. Take your time and don’t be aggressive. The anus is a very delicate area, but responsive to competent caressing. Use lube and toys, with the help of which you can gently stretch the sphincter. Many men have too coarse skin on their fingers. Adequately assess the diameter of your penis. The larger, the more painful, although there are ladies who like fisting.
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